Back at the Ranch

"I don't know how to say this, but I'm kind of a big deal. People know me. I own many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany." That's right folks, yours truly was on the WB11 News here on Long Island, and looking good -- at least that's what they tell me. Apparently a camara man will tell you anything to get you to do what he wants, which is a valuable reiteration of a previously learned lesson during some of my steamier photo shoots while moonlighting as an underwear model.

But the real truth behind this story is the incredible amount of airtime that my dog received. No joke, my dog Eve was the focus of cameras, reporters and anchors alike for a solid 3 minutes... and the majority of the footage was her back end (which may I say is the Foster family's finest foot forward, so to speak -- except Ben). So yes, to awaken any buried insecurities I might have previously squelched let it be known that the camera and general viewing population would prefer to watch video of a pig and my dog's butt over me.

Let me tell you one thing that you need to do before you die: take horses swimming. You would be surprised at their aptitude in the water, and by the fact that even horses blow bubbles when they fart underwater -- a fact that caught me off guard as indicated by the picture below. Smooth move Cisco...

And finally, to complete the randomness of this "catching you up" blog, I would like to apologize to all of those who I have neglected to contact within the last several weeks, especially those like Josh Lankford who call my work extension and leave threatening messages. Again, my deepest, sincerest, heartfelt do-it-again-and-I'll-get-a-restraining-order apologies. Josh Lankford -- this picture's for you: