Back at the Ranch

I have many friends celebrating their anniversaries in the coming weeks. I won't lie, there are plenty of times when I would love to be married, it goes without saying. Fortunately this is NOT one of those times. No friends, this Friday I celebrate the anniversary of my singleness, yes, Bachelor Day 2006. BD'06 looks a little something like this: Friday morning, sleep in a little, then complete a full round of golf, followed by a free lunch at the pro shop. Immediately following lunch, run home, grab Rold Gold Honey & Wheat Braided Twists and Fierce Melon Gatorade, then head to the Marina for a little Striped Bass fishing in the Atlantic. Get off the boat, fly back to the Ranch, grab a couple fellas, head to the log cabin, grab some grahams, mallows and chocolate and light stuff on fire for a couple hours, do a little "redneck firefighting" and head out. Leave the cabin, head back to married friend's house to house sit and mooch off of all their food. For the record, that's a ton of snack food and only one legitimate meal that I neither bought nor prepared... I think I'm starting to get a hang of this bachelor thing. So you married people have fun on your anniversaries, I'll be sitting on your couch, eating your potato chips and watching your cable, without ever spending a dime.