Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Why?
I don’t have the answers for all of life’s questions, but the more I experience in this short time that I’ve been here, the more I believe there’s a reason for everything. This isn’t a debate into why natural disasters happen, the presence of evil, or the depth of God’s direct interaction with mankind; they’re all matters to be settled another time. Like I said, I don’t have all the answers, only increasingly convinced that there is a reason for everything. There’s a reason why God created the fart, it’s not necessary, He could have made us differently, but He didn’t. Chalk it up to Divine humor or creativity, but there is a deeper reason I do not presently understand.
There is a reason why our present canon includes Esther, and it’s more than for the saying "for such a time as this." There’s a reason why Job made it in, even though we’re not totally sure; there’s a reason for Song of Solomon, though no one will ever agree; and there’s a reason for Revelation, though no one will ever totally comprehend. And there’s a reason why we as Christians still read the Old Testament.
Some would say it’s because it shows us how a perfect God interacts with imperfect people, a sort of snapshot into the holiness of God. They are no doubt correct, but not completely. Some might say it’s the indication of the measuring stick God holds us to, and how short we fall without Jesus, again, true in a sense, but not completely. Others might even show that it contains all the prophecies which help prove that Jesus is the Christ, again, true, but not completely. On and on I could mention the examples of why the OT is there, but none would be complete.
There’s a reason why God chose Jacob, and I for one will never understand. I’ve wrestled with this for a while, and still the answer is lacking. The historical ramifications of this one man are too innumerable for me to comprehend, much less put into words. Why would God choose to name the "chosen people" after a con artist who tricked his way into the blessing of God? Why shift the entire course of history over a bowl of stew? Why would God allow that to happen? Why would God reward him? Why? So here I sit again, on the edge of the pool, dangling my feet in the water, knowing just how deep it is, yet this time I find myself wanting to dive in.
Why? Because there is something about the story of Jacob that intrigues me, it has for a long time. Maybe it’s because I’m a sucker for a good story, no doubt, but there is something about Jacob that I connect with, something that relates to me, something the draws me in.
I don’t look good in an apron. You can kiss this chef if you want, but it won’t be because of the cooking. If it wasn’t already frozen, then I haven’t cooked it. I can grill pretty well, don’t get me wrong, but culinary mastery is not my forte. Yet, in some strange way I find myself connecting with Jacob. On paper this wouldn’t make any sense at all. I’m not a twin, I’m the firstborn, I like hunting, fishing and being outdoors, and I sure as heck can’t cook. I’ve got pretty hairy legs and feet to boot; I mean, I’m no Esau, but I’d say I’m more on his side of the boat, if you know what I mean. I don’t recall conning my brother out of anything, and if there is a lick of con artist in me, then I learned it from him in the first place. Just about any way you happen to look at it, I don’t match up with Jacob, yet I increasingly find myself attracted to his story, as if there is some sort of connection I have not realized.
So let me set the stage for you:
Jacob’s just stepped out on his own for the first time. He wasn’t ready. It wasn’t his choice. He had to – has was forced to. The problems that he’d started were catching up with him, and it was time to hit the road. This wasn’t the first time he’d run from life’s problems. He took off when he was younger, left his home, the mother that loved him, the dying father, and the brother waiting to kill him. He spent 20 years side-stepping that battle, countries away from the brother whose heel Jacob grabbed for the last time. I’m sure if you asked Jacob, he would have rather been home, hanging around the tents, talking with his mom, cooking up something nice. But this is where he had to be, it wasn’t his choice.
Sure everything turned out pretty nice. He’d met the girl of his dreams, and she became his wife. Of course that goes without mentioning the 14 years of work and the consequential bride that accompanied this deal. Yeah, so his home life wasn’t the best, between the warring wives and the furious father-in-law it couldn’t have been too pleasant at home, yet God had truly blessed him. He showed up at their tent door with nothing but the staff in his hand, and now he was leaving a wealthy man. Sure, he was deceived by Laban, but let’s face it, in the end Jacob always wins. He was running away with the man’s two daughters, all the grandbabies, the majority of his sheep, and a bunch of his stuff, all without ever saying good-bye.
But we cast Jacob in a bad light, like he was the only family member to ever deceive. His father and grandfather did the same thing, lying about their wives, and ended up wealthier because of it -- heck, Abraham did it twice it worked so well. Not to float around in the psychology pool, but after all, he’s simply a "product of his environment."
So here we find him, running again. Behind him is his father-in-law, from whom he took just about everything, and in front of him, his brother, for whom he left nothing. Jacob’s back in the middle again, between the rock of a hairy, angry brother and the hard place of a father-in-law done wrong.
He’d seen this middle before when he ran the first time. He had the blessing, but never really known what it was. And along the journey to his new life he laid down to sleep one night only to experience God for the first time. Standing there, atop the ladder, Jacob’s ladder, God gave him the reminder of the Promise, the affirmation of the Blessing, the connection between God and man; his first real experience with God.
So why is it so strange that he find himself in the middle again? Amidst the chaos of his life, trying to protect his family from his enraged brother and rectify the animosity with his wives’ father, we find this quick, nondescript incident about another Divine experience. Yet, this time, it’s much more. What was once a dream in years gone by, an experience of the mind, turns into a first hand encounter, a literal brawl with the Living God. All night they wrestled, until the break of day. No one knows what style they used, whether or not Jacob had God in a submission hold, or if God ever got Jacob in a half nelson. All we know is this: the sun was rising, and God had apparently forgot the lesson that Laban learned the hard way – in the end Jacob always wins. Pinning down the Creator of the universe, Jacob demanded a blessing. Why? Could it be that he forgot the blessing from the ladder? Could it be that he couldn’t see a blessing through the turmoil surrounding him? Could it be that the man who had it all already wanted just a little more? Who knows? All it says is that God had to pull a cheap shot to get His way, wrenching Jacob’s hip, but even that didn’t help. Finally God caved in:
The man asked him, "What is your name?" "Jacob," he answered.
Then the man said, "Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel,
because you have struggled with God and with men and have overcome."
Then God blessed Israel.
The questions are endless: Why would God choose to come to earth, take on flesh, and wrestle with a man? What was so important? What is the meaning? Why name your chosen people after a wrestling match? Why let their name, their identity, the very people whom God recognizes as His own, be the people "who struggle with God."
This has revolutionized the way I view ministry. I see Jacob in my boys. I see a kid who just stepped out on his own for the first time. He wasn’t ready. It wasn’t his choice. He had to – has was forced to. The problems that he’d started were catching up with him, and it was time to hit the road. This wasn’t the first time he’d run from life’s problems, but it’s the first time he’s had to face up to them. There were no more opportunities to side-step this ordeal, they had to meet it face to face, just like Jacob.
Just like Jacob they’ve been in the middle, not knowing where to turn. They’ve experienced times of ambiguity, times of uncertainty, and times of despair. They’ve had moments or experiences in which they’ve "seen" God, be it getting ripped out of their homes, watching friends suffer, fail, even die, or just losing a year of their life. There have been positives too, escaping poor environments, negative influences, and hurtful people. These are their experiences with God, they want to give Him credit, good or bad, for their live’s circumstances, but they’ve never encountered God... until now.
Now they’re here, in the night of their lives, surrounded by looming pressures, wrestling with life, wrestling with God. He’s more than a story they’ve heard about, or an unfulfilled promise from years gone by. He’s an acting, moving, loving force impacting their lives, and they’re not sure what to do with it. In turn they ask the question He’s been waiting for: "Why?"
Why would God bring me into a world where I would be criticized for who I am? Why would God make me pay for the mistakes that my mother made? Why would God take away my brother? Why would God bring me to this place? Why don’t they have to "learn from their mistakes"? Why did he make me this color? Why would he send my father away? Why would God allow that to happen to my sister? Why won’t God listen to me? Why won’t He answer me!? Why would he love me?
There I stand, just outside the ropes of the arena, towel and water bottle in hand, watching the fight. After every round they come back to my corner with a "Why" question, and there was a time in my life when the naive part of me thought it should be answered. Now I know better: it’s not my fight. I’m not the contestant, that I should be in ring wrestling for them, that offers no help. I’m not the referee that I should lay down the parameters and rules, I have no such authority. I simply the man in their corner, the Mickey to their Rocky, setting down the stool of direction, telling them where to punch next. And as I wipe away their blood, sweat, and tears... I doctor their cuts, slap them on the black, and send ‘em back in again, praying that they step back in for another round, hoping every moment that they will make it till sun up, and limp away with God’s blessing.
I’m helping people encounter God, many of my guys are doing it for the first time, and the fight is on. Make no mistake, it’s a fierce fight; not because there’s a God sick of questions, but questions sick of remaining unanswered, ignored, or even forgotten. They battle with a God who welcomes the fight, not out of vindication, but love and support. His self-worth is not based in their opinion of Him. Instead He appreciates, like Jacob, an honest seeker, an earnest traveler, a sincere heart. He beckons questions, like little children at His feet, that they might come unto Him and find in Him their fulfillment, their completion, their answer.
So what does the Jacob story mean to me? A lot. A lot of great, incomplete ideas. Like I’ve already said, there’s a reason why God chose Jacob, and I’ll never understand. I’ve wrestled with this for a while, and still the answer is lacking. The historical ramifications of this one man are too innumerable for me to comprehend, much less put into words. Why would God choose to name the "chosen people" after a con artist who tricked his way into the blessing of God? Why shift the entire course of history over a bowl of stew? Why would God allow that to happen? Why would God reward him? Why would God come in the flesh, wrestle with man, and from that experience birth a new nation? Maybe because several hundred years later He’d repeat it again, in the flesh, and once again wrestle with man, and from that experience birth a new nation. Who knows?
So what does the Jacob story mean to you? Why should I know? It’s not for me to answer. I’m just here to get you to the next round.
how's everything at the Ranch? things are good here ... tornados like crazy though! its been insane ...
i applied to work the apple day camp up there this summer but james just told me yesterday that i probably won't be able to because of the # of kiddos doing the camp ... but maybe next summer! i want to spend at least one summer up there! haha
hope everything is going well ... take it easy. prayers for ACU would be great ... last week of classes this week and then finals next week.
jud beall
: 8:15 PM
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